GPOYTuesday.
“Here I redeem the pledge thou gavest;
I pour sweet water upon thee.
Life shall prevail in this windless place:
My love, thou shalt live in a palace,
Thy enemies shall fall into emptiness.
We travel this path together
Which love has traced for thee.
Surely well do I show the way
For my love is thy palace…”
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
The plan was simple, he said, like his brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work! Soon enough, she grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. And he was deeply in love with her. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. At long last, they lived happily ever after in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
The End. :)
The love song of an extinct katydid that lived 165 million years ago has been brought back to life, according to a study in the latest issue of PNAS. The song is thought to be the most ancient known music documented to date.
The song was reconstructed from microscopic wing features on a fossil discovered in North East China. It allows us to listen to one of the sounds that would have been heard by dinosaurs and other creatures roaming Jurassic forests at night. [Click Title to Read More]
I do not know every reason why I love her like I do,
only that I do: Like I know there is no sun in the night sky.
When alone, she haunts me like a beautiful tinkling piano
in a far off room. But I’ll be around no matter what or why.
Maybe it’s just one of those things:
Like a nice evening breeze caressing the trees;
And a thousand brilliant stars shining as they point my way -
I’ll forever have my love for her. For you. Always.
- Keith
A picture of my wife and I.
The camera was on LSD, apparently :p LOVE IT.
